Review: G.I. JOE Classified Series Sgt. Slaughter


Oh, Hasbro. You’re charging a premium price for an action figure that’s hidden behind a windowless box. Not any character, mind you, but one of the few Joes based on a real person. I like the box, but again, it is not friendly to collectors. We want to display Sarge’s action figure, not various pictures of him.

Since Sgt. Slaughter is hidden behind the packaging, is he worth displaying on his own if you’re willing to forgo the mint-in-box value? Kind of.

Maybe I got a slightly defective figure because the joint where his torso meets the waist was weird. Equally odd was the ball joint attachment for his right leg. No matter how many times I tried, I couldn’t get it to align with his right leg. This issue left the figure always jutting his hips out to the side like he was going to give me some sass.

Another notable annoyance is the return of pegs at the joints. We thought these had finally gone away in the G.I. JOE Classified line. How have we not made pinless limbs a standard in the premium action figure market?

Aside from the wonky hips, Slaughter’s joints are all tight. This is great because this figure comes with something that’s been lacking from most other Classified figures: interchangeable hands! Yes, Sarge has grabby hands, trigger hands, and pointy hands! Aside from being able to manhandle other Joes and Cobras, he can wrestle with his own mini-Sgt. Slaughter toy.

Photo Credit: Mike Phalin

Hasbro really wanted to get the most nostalgia miles as they could out of the former WWE wrestler’s member berries. The mini figure is not articulated, and I wouldn’t suggest removing it from the blister pack, because the plastic tabs around the back may not easily bend back into shape.3

As far as other accessories go, Slaughter is packing a couple of expected items like his drill instructor’s hat, sunglasses, and swagger stick. He does come with a single weapon, and it’s a rifle with a removable magazine and tactical light. Thankfully, very thankfully, it is painted a dull black and not shiny. What’s with Hasbro’s on-again, off-again love affair with shiny plastic weapons for these $20+ collectibles?

Photo Credit: Mike Phalin

I’ve been saving the face reveal, because it’s the part I have the most issue with.

At first glance, it looks mostly like the iconic Real American Hero. The glasses may be a bit too big thanks to the oversized brown rims around the lenses, but they hid what is a very unfortunate face sculpt.

There’s a huge difference in how Valvaverse and Hasbro chose to portray this guy. The very first thing I thought when I unboxed this was, “Is that Alex Karras?!” The older-looking face, small eyes, and mustache really made me think he was going to sit me down and give me a life lesson after I’d set an apartment building on fire.

Alex Karras?!
Photo Credit: Mike Phalin

I am thankful that Slaughter hasn’t undergone any unnecessary updates like some other Joes. However, it would have been nice if his shirt had ‘USA’ printed on it, just like the old mail-away figure.

If you’re looking for a Sgt. Slaughter figure from the G.I. Joe Classified Series for nostalgic reasons, I totally understand. Despite being packaged in a box without a window, the packaging does a great job of highlighting the character’s history in the G.I. Joe franchise, including the cartoon, comics, and mail-away action figure. When it comes to the Valaverse Sgt. Slaughter, though, feels more like the larger-than-life character that Robert Rudolph Remus portrayed in his professional wrestling career.

The figure can be pre-ordered via Hasbro Pulse. He’ll set you back $33.99. However, I’d recommend picking up the other one. He captures more of Slaughter’s G.I. Joe vibe, is less expensive  ($21.99), and comes with more accessories.

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Mike Phalin
Mike Phalinhttp://syxxsense.com
Longtime problematic entertainment journalist. The former workhorse for Dread Central, ScienceFiction.com, and Fanbolt.

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