Google Wants To See If Employees Can Work Without Internet Access

Google And Meta Cost Cutting Affects Everyone
Where's my internet? Where's my stapler?

A pilot program at Google is going to see if employees will be able to perform with no internet connection. How am I supposed to spend 8-hours reading Pirates and Princesses, the best theme park blog out there, every day?

What first sounds like yet another cost-cutting measure from the tech giant turns out to be a way of limiting cyber attacks. The plan affects 2,500 employees, according to CNBC.

At first, the security measure was arbitrarily assigned to employees, but this was rolled back following concerns from Googlers. Now Google’s plan can be opted out of, but for how long?

Cutting employees off from essentials isn’t new. Earlier this year, we discussed Google taking staplers and basic office supplies away from workers.

Let’s speculate about other cost-saving measures Google may implement:

  • Googlers will be bringing in their own patch cables so that they can hardwire into the system.
  • Subsidized pens.
  • Bring your own toilet paper.
  • Chairs (for earners).
  • Fresh air (for earners).
  • Take your mistress to work day.

Sadly, the jokes from the Sebben and Sebben Employee Orientation episode of Harvey Birdman are becoming a reality at a megacorp like Google.

While Google may be taking things away, Microsoft is giving Teams users free makeup! AI-generated makeup, that is!

We spotted this odd bit of news over at PC Mag. A new app for the virtual meeting room now has a built-in Maybelline Beauty application that’ll slap some rouge and lipstick on your face.

The Geena Davis Institute worked with the beauty brand’s parent company (L’Oreal) and Modiface to create a dozen looks to help those who just rolled out of bed appear presentable in front of the shareholders.

Modiface's AI generated makeup.
Image Credit: Modiface

Maybelline’s beauty-enhancing tool is not available to the general public yet, but will be “rolled out slowly for Microsoft Teams enterprise customers.” Will you be taking advantage of AI to not look hideous at your next Teams meeting? Let us know below!

[Source: CNBC] [Source: PC Mag]


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Mike Phalin

Longtime problematic entertainment journalist. The former workhorse for Dread Central,, and Fanbolt.

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