I always had a feeling that deep down Sonic the Hedgehog was a Florida Man. He likes to go fast. He eats “hotted dogs” with chili. The dude hangs out with a bunch of rebels who are opposed to technological dominance. I’m also pretty sure his pal Knuckles once took cops on a high-speed pursuit through Lakeland only to get busted by our one and only Grady Judd.
It was no surprise when I learned today from The West Volusia Beacon’s Twitter account that the blue hedgehog was caught on camera trying to rob the Florida Credit Union in DeLand, Florida.
DeLand Police: "On Wednesday, February 02, 2022, at approximately 1623 hours, officers from the DeLand Police Department were dispatched to Florida Credit Union (1735 N Woodland Blvd, DeLand, FL 32720) in reference to an armed robbery in progress …"https://t.co/Z1n4dfe0f3
— West Volusia Beacon (@wvbeacon) February 4, 2022
It appears that Sonic has fallen on hard times. It was probably a substance abuse issue. I would guess he’s addicted to speed. Luckily no one was hurt during the robbery, but Sonic is using a new weapon instead of his spin attack. He has not turned to hammers, according to The West Volusia Beacon.
“When officers arrived on-scene, contact was made with witnesses who stated that a subject (believed to be a male by their tone of voice) wearing a “sonic the hedgehog mask” entered the bank displaying a hammer and demanding money from the teller. While demanding cash from the teller, the suspect then struck the teller’s window with the hammer as he continued with his demands.”
Sonic was unsuccessful in his quest for golden rings this time. The once-mighty icon of SEGA ran off without any loot but is still at large. So, where will he strike next? If you have any tips on Mr. Needlemouse’s whereabouts, don’t hesitate to get in touch with the DeLand Police Department.
What do you think could have driven Sonic to this sorry state (meaning both mentally and the State of Florida)? Is there anything we can do to help him? Leave your thoughts, opinions, and prayers in the comments section below.
[Source: The West Volusia Beacon]
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